The 5 Steps to Break Free from Old Photos
This is a sample of me following the 5 steps (read this first).
Try to remember all the events around that day the photo was taken.
I went to the zoo with a friend. I remember it being a very humid summer day and for most of that day I was worried my sweat was showing through the dress! I was sitting in a mist- bath spray when this was taken. We went to Wendy's in Dublin, OH after the zoo and I got a Taco Salad. No Chili. I don't remember the animals we saw or anything I chatted with my life long friend about. I still have that backpack though- ha!
2. Where were you in this time of your life? How were you spending your time? With whom were you spending it?
I was just finished my third year of teaching and had just ended a long term relationship that had been extremely unhealthy for lots of reasons. I was spending my time running, drinking, smoking, and talking on the phone! I had lots of friends, but what mattered most was exercising and going out and having a great time! I remember loving my job at the time, but still being very preoccupied and sad about my breakup. I tended to spend a lot of time alone.
3. What positive memories are associated with this time? What negative memories are associated with this time? Was this time “perfect” or were you going through challenges?
Positives: I was growing in confidence in my career! I had a great boss and great friends who really showed up for me endlessly. My family was always there for me too.
Negatives: I really cared what men thought about me and the attention I received from them. My #1 priority was getting a run in each day and looking good in my "weekend clothes." I felt lonely a lot too, even though I was surrounded by people. I ate the exact same thing every day, and considered my days as "good" or "bad" based on the amount of exercise I did or the amount of food I ate.
4. Did you worry about your body during the time this photo was taken? Did you worry about the food you ate? Did you feel as good about your body then as you do looking at the photo now?
Easy! Yes I worried about my body- all.the.time. Yes I worried about the food I ate- I tried to avoid food whenever I could. I did not feel like my body was anything special at the time. I remember looking at the photo and thinking, " At least your collarbones are visible." I was so hard on myself about everything.
5. What loving, affirming, validating things would you say to this girl? What do you wish she knew?
I would tell this girl that her worth is not determined by how men treat her or the attention she receives in her body. I would tell this girl about Intuitive Eating and Self- Compassion. I would tell her it is not normal or healthy for her to look at herself in this way- that she was More Than A Body, and that continuing on in this way will make her less present in her life every single day. I'd also tell her it is okay to be angry about a culture that emphasizes women's worth by the outside, and that healing is possible.
Bonus:
What has your body done for you since then? What wrinkles has it earned? How has it continued to transform? Has it given life or planted a tree or hugged? Does it deserve a “thank you” or at minimum a “ I accept you” for carrying you through to today?
My body deserves a giant "Thank You" poster!! It has brought three incredible souls into this world and weathered losses and celebrated successes. It has fought back on diet culture and ridiculous beauty standards that lead us nowhere. Being really present with my body has helped me to embrace my own health in a new way- by seeing health as whole- being mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally attuned to who I am and why I am here. Thank you body- you go girl!
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