How To Deal with Pre-Event Body Anxiety

I spent hours agonizing over losing weight for this trip as a 20 year old. But all that mattered were those two genuine joy filled smiles.

We’ve all been there. A week out from our cousin’s outdoor baby shower, and we are running around on a diet, trying to find the perfect dress, and wondering if Aunt Helen will notice that we put on 20 pounds since she last saw us for family Christmas. Last time she let us know that we looked “so healthy” and losing that title will inevitably feel a bit crushing.

So, how do we deal with these events where we feel an impending doom over our size, weight, appearance, and the labels others give us?

How can we slow the repeated thoughts of what people might say or worse, NOT SAY, about how we look?

1. Think about the last time you felt worried before an event/visit.

Think about the last time you frantically tried to figure out how to look like you are happy and healthy and your life is put together for a party or event. Think about how much you worried about the weight you’ve kept or gained and the scenarios in which people would notice your chubby arm. Think about the money you spent preparing or the diet you were on to remedy the damages you were expecting.

2. Then think about how the event/visit *actually* transpired.

Did it end up mattering what dress you wore or how your arms looked? How much you weighed? What ended up mattering most about the event after it was all said and done? Did you need to spend $200 on a brand new dress? Was all your anxiety necessary? Are you happy you went? How was the actual experience vs the anticipated experience?

3. Narrow your worries down.

Who are you most worried about impressing with a thin physique during this reunion? Make a list of people whose possible thoughts/comments are stressing you out the most. Why? What have your past experiences shown you about this person? Are they consumed by diet culture in their own life? Why do you think the shape and size of your body matters to them? Does it have to do with how they were raised? Their culture? Their own fears?

4. Keep eating. Keep moving. Don’t Buy Spanx.

The number one temptation when this anxiety starts is to go for the quick fix. The whole 30 diet, the 4 day cleanse, or literal shrink wrap on your body. Now is the time to remind your body that Starvation City is not a stop on this road trip. Even if you have done these things in the past, ask yourself if they have truly worked. Have those actions made the event more joyful? Did they make you more present? Were you able to be the most authentic, best version of yourself because you went on a 4 day cleanse before your bestie’s wedding?

5. Jot your thoughts.

Immediately after the event/visit/reunion find a napkin, toilet paper or even the back of a brochure to write down your fresh thoughts. How was the anticipation of the event different from the actual event? What surprised you? How did you feel in your body? Were you comfortable, uncomfortable? Was it overall a pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral experience? Keep your notes. Read through them the next time you need a little clarity.

The truth is, diet culture is everywhere. Even the men in my life have shared they feel anxiety over how their bodies will be evaluated and judged at family reunions or big days. If you feel this way, you can also safely assume others at the event are having similar experiences too.

Be part of the solution at your next event, don’t comment on anyone's physical body at all- positive or negative. Look them in the eyes and tell them how genuinely wonderful it is to see them again.

Thanks for thinking about this with me.