Does my spouse like intuitive eating?

Although my heart is set on intuitive eating, my spouse's heart is not. Currently he is doing intermittent fasting. It makes me laugh because if he is not listening to my advice- who will!? But as anyone who has a spouse knows, sometimes that person is not the first person we look to for sage advice. Humility is a good thing, so I will rest in it.

I’m not perfect though. I make comments about his new lifestyle choice which I very obviously don't love. There have been witnesses. “It’s great intermittent fasting is working for you, but science shows diets do not work! Restricting food is the #1 predictor of weight gain!"

I can’t help myself.

I should though.

The truth is if there is anyone who understands wanting to control their body and when food does or does not go into it, it’s me. So who am I to judge? Who are we to judge our spouses choices about what they eat and how they treat their body?

I am not suggesting I have a final answer here. Relationships are hard and completely unique. The conversation should start though. Pay attention to the couples around you and the comments they make about one another’s body or food choices. Why do you think they are making comments? Is it coming from a loving place, a jealous place, a hopeful place? Have their spouses' choices around food and body hurt them in a real, tangible way that has caused unbearable resentment? The more we ask questions, the more we learn.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves, does giving your spouse advice about food and their body work long term? Has it made them the healthiest version of themselves- mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally? It’s hard not to offer unsolicited opinions to people, especially those closest to us (I’m talking to myself here!).

What might change if we let go of worrying if our partner is overweight or if they need to exercise more? As my wise yoga teacher shared last week, "perhaps we are working too hard on too many things." Perhaps we should just let go…and see what happens.

Thanks for thinking about this with me.