by Kate Munhall Weber
My mom, like most people, brings her own levels of dissatisfaction with her body size and shape. She also brings her own level of preoccupation with her weight and avoiding "bad" foods. I'd never want anyone to read this and think I am criticizing my mom though. Her thinking is a product of her own parents' influence and the thinking of our culture.
We have talked about those influences. She remembers when she was twelve, her beloved Dad, who we call Pops, mentioning to her Mom, "If Jody were to just lose a little bit more weight she would have a great figure." She remembers her mom telling her that instead of choosing Rootbeer at the corner-store on her way back from school, she would be better off choosing the "orange drink" that has less sugar.
What are the stories and messages your parents received around their body and the food they ate as children? Have you had conversations with them about that? What might conversations around these stories do to heal a tenuous relationship with your own mom or dad? What comes up for you when you think about having these conversations?
Some people simply can't talk with their parents about food and body
issues. For one reason or another, you have had to draw a boundary, and you need to love yourself by avoiding the topic altogether. If that's where you are at- full support here!
Either way, how might we benefit by reflecting on how we pass on negative body image generationally? Are we accidentally doing this to our own children? Let's start with the end goal in mind and think about if our words and actions support that goal. How do you want your child to feel about the skin they live in each day when they are 50? 60? Do you hope your little boy or girl gets Botox so that they feel younger longer? Do you want them to feel shame around having a normal body? Let's be the change we want to see in the world! If not you, then who?
Thanks for thinking about this with me.
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